girl who walks in the rain

Wise words to live by

2012-02-27T19:32:00.002Z

I discovered this back when I lived in Pakistan. Wise words to live by.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

I heart lists

2012-02-13T13:56:00.001Z

I've probably mentioned how I love lists. Imagine my delight at seeing this book nestled on a shelf at Foyles.

I haven't begun to fill it in yet. I almost don't want to write in it because I don't want to spoil it. And I bought it on Amazon. Much cheaper.

Bookshelf Porn

2011-12-29T21:01:00.002Z

Here's a blog I have stumbled upon during my travels through cyberspace, a blog after my own heart. Bookshelves galore! Have a look here.

2011-12-29T20:33:00.003Z

I have discovered this absolutely lovely website called Pinterest. It's an online pinboard where you can "pin" images you like all in one place. I so totally love it. It's all I've been doing this past hour.I love stuff like this - it's alike a list but in photos! I wish I had thought of it!

Guilty Pleasures

2011-12-07T17:46:00.002Z

One of my guilty pleasures is young adult fiction. Here are some i've read recently that I've really enjoyed:

1. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

2. All books by Amanda Hocking

3. The Fallen series by Lauren Kate

There seems to be a running theme in young adult books at the moment so they're usually books with angels/demons, end of the world and vampire type stories. I've just purchased three more from Amazon (The Declaration; Dark Inside and Stealing Phoenix) but one of them has none of the above mentioned themes and I'm looking forward to reading it.

I'm thinking I should jump on the bandwagon and start churning out teen novels. Amanda Hocking hadn't published a book before sometime last year. Now she has about 5 out. If only I had the patience...and inclination.

Adopting Abroad and Edhi

2011-09-10T00:54:00.001+01:00

I just finished watching Saira's Story about adopting a baby girl who was abandoned outside the Edhi orphanage in Karachi. Some people at work were talking about it at the lunch table and I had seen it on the tv guide last night but had just missed it. BBC's iplayer is just brilliant for instances like that.

It was such a touching story and I'm so happy that after everything she went through, Saira finally managed to adopt a baby girl. There was something at the end that she said which she articulated so much better than I could have. And it's something I feel when I'm in either Pakistan or the Philippines. Like Saira, I struggle with my conscience. I'm from a working class family but compared to the majority if the population in Pakistan I live a life many privileges. And she was right, if you are poor here you have the welfare service and benefits system. Yes, the government is changing it and making cuts but we're still so much better off. If you experience domestic violence, you have somewhere to go. Thank God for people like Abdul Sattar Edhi.

The world needs more people like him. He started off by picking up dead bodies in the streets of Karachi and burying them and has gone on to having the largest voluntary ambulance service as well as looking after abandoned children. May Allah bless
him. After hearing about all the evil that goes on in the world, it's knowing about people like Edhi that soothes my soul. I haven't been able to completely express what I've been feeling since I finished watching the programme but I needed to write about it. I've been through choking back the tears to smiling like a crazy woman in that past hour. And I swear, after becoming a mother I seem to feel everything so much more intensely.

More information about Edhi can be found at www.edhi.org.

Another craft blog...

2011-08-19T10:40:00.002+01:00

...I found this blog, Craftaholics Anonymous, via the Mollie Makes website and it came with some warnings i.e that it would leave you in total awe, would result in blog envy and want to start crafting. So true...

I want to make this:

Check the website above for the tutorial or click here.

Creative Juices

2011-08-18T22:59:00.003+01:00

The creative bug has bitten yet again and I'm on a bit of a creative frenzy - not that i've had much time to make anything. I'm almost finished with a granny square baby blanket I started making back in July. I haven't even finished that and my eyes are on this one by Nicki Trench. I worked out the cost to make it in using the same yarn and I use can't afford it.

Other things that have made my creative juices flowing are two magazines I have come across. The first is Mollie Makes which caught my eye when I was leaving Asda one day.

Each magazine comes with a little gift that you can make. I have yet to make any of mine but am really looking forward to it. I love flipping through the pages and looking at all the pretty pretty things. You can check out their website here. The other is called Making. I just want to make everything that is featured in it too, the origami light shade in particular which can be found in Issue 4. The magazine itself is divided into different sections: Making for Living, for the bathroom, for the kitchen, fort the wardrobe and for the garden. Both are definitely worth having a look at it. You'll find yourself struck with craft envy and a very strong desire to try your hand at crafting.

Blog After My Heart

2011-08-18T22:55:00.002+01:00

I thought that being on holiday for the summer would mean that I'd have lots of time to clear up my bedroom, my bookshelves and my cupboard. Who was I kidding? I have no idea where the time has gone but it hasn't gone into clearing anything up. And so imagine my delight at finding this blog called Perfectly Pretty...it's a blog after my own heart. It's all the inspiration I need to get myself organised. Go take a look.

Anti-Kindle?

2011-06-28T20:59:00.002+01:00

Being a book-lover, I have always been very anti-e-readers. Nothing, for me, could ever replace the weight and feel of a book in my hands. Plus, I'm one of those readers who likes to flick to the end before she's finished reading just to make sure all ends well. And so I found myself making my whole "nothing can ever replace a book" spiel when I found myself chatting to a friend of a friend while waiting for said friend to arrive at her own birthday dinner. The friend of my friend, L, was adamant she has also been anti-Kindle until she actually tried one. We talked about Kindle vs. the Kindle app on the iPad, discussing important issues such a the back-light on the iPad not allowing for proper reading in daylight etc. All the while, I still maintained my anti-e-readerness. Don't get me wrong, I love my gadgets. But for me, a book is a book.

Three weeks later, I was still thinking about my conversation with L. I did my research. I went to look at demos of the Kindle in my local Curry's store. I caved. I bought one. I love my new Kindle.

No, it doesn't replace a book. I will still buy books. However, I am now a Kindle convert and currently reading a teen book called Portal on it. Now I'm looking for crochet patterns to make myself a cover for my beloved Kindle. I have totally taken myself by surprise. Who would have thought? Me and my Kindle.

Markets

2011-05-29T00:06:00.003+01:00

A few weeks ago, I finally got to go to Broadway Market with F and S, some family friends. I had always wanted to go when S first told me about it but never got around to asking her what it was called or where it was. I just knew it was a food market and that you could get samosa chaat from there. Now having been there, I keep berating myself for not finding out sooner.

The very first stall we came across was a smoked sun-dried tomato one. I happen to love sun-dried tomatoes and these ones tasted not dissimilar to smoked mackerel. Of course, I bought myself a pot. Not too long after the tomato stall, came the churros and hot chocolate stall. After seeing churros at the Columbia Flower Market and not being able to have any because they ran out just as I got to the front of the queue, I had been craving them. F and S were both so good in that they were going to go past all the stalls before deciding on what they were going to get. I, on the other hand, was like a child let loose in a sweet shop with a fistful of pocket money. I had to get some there and then in case, like last time, they would run out. The three of us found a bit of kerb to sit on as we ate our churros dipped into hot chocolate, watching the world go by. I love the hustle and bustle of markets and there's so much you miss if you don't stop to actually look.

With my tummy reasonably satisfied, we ambled on. Our thirst was quenched by freshly pressed apple juice and then after the rounds of the stalls had been made and some brinjal pickle taste-tested and bought, we finally settled on getting some food for our little picnic in the park from the Russian food stall. I'm not entirely sure if all the food sold at that stall was indeed Russian but the Salad Olivier definitely was. And if you have never tried aubergine with pomegranate before, then you really must.

With our food safely tucked under our arms and another bottle of freshly squeezed apple juice bought, we made our way to London Fields across the road. We sat, munched, talked, people watched and read the paper. It was an absolutely lovely morning.

Greenwich Market tomorrow, I hope. I planned to go the last two Saturdays but I ended up catching a cold and not being able to go. Can't wait to see what it's like. It's an arts and crafts market and food market all rolled into one, I hear.

Tokophobia

2011-04-20T22:52:00.003+01:00

...and so it has a name! Ever felt like you might be the only person in the world who feels a certain emotion or has a particular thought? Well, for a while, I thought I might be the only woman in the world who was petrified of giving birth! I used to wake up in the middle of the night and then wake up my husband because the thought of giving birth scared me that much. The bigger my bump got, the more scared I became. I kept trying to tell myself that so many women had done it before me so therefore I could too but it never worked. And then on Monday, after taking the little one for a swim, I picked up the latest Mother and Baby magazine and there it was - tokophobia. It has a name! And a whole article about it.

Ahwoo 10

2011-04-20T22:43:00.002+01:00

The little one still says "Ahwoo" instead of "Love you". I asked him the other day how much he loved his Mama. He thought about it and then said "Ahwoo 5". I then asked him how much he loved his Daddy. He answer was almost immediate "Ahwoo 10!"

I wasn't having any of that.

Now he loves us both Ahwoo 10.

Afternoon Ritual

2011-03-19T12:54:00.003Z

For the last two afternoons when I've gotten home from work, my little one has joined me in what I hope will become an afternoon ritual. During my lunch break on Thursday, I went out with a friend for lunch. On the way back to school we stopped off at Waitrose where I picked up a cherry and geranium cupcake which had been reduced because it was going to go past its sell by date that day. At home that afternoon, the little one and I sat at the kitchen counter on our high stools, him with his little mug of milk and me with a cup of steaming hot chai and we shared the cupcake. It was absolutely lovely.

The following day was Red Nose Day and the Year 6s were holding a cake sale at the end of the day. My classroom is strategically placed in that it leads directly to the staffroom outside which the girls were setting up their stall. Before I had even let the kids go, I opened my door, beckoned one for the girls to me and bought a blueberry muffin and a slice of Victoria sponge cake from her. I managed not to scoff them both before I got home. As I was making my chai, the little one asked me to pick him up and put him on his stool. He then asked for his "meek" (milk) and cake. And so we spent another afternoon sharing a cupcake over a cup of tea and a cup of milk.

Nothing beats coming home and having some cake and tea with my son.

Leisurely Sunday

2011-02-11T23:04:00.004Z

Sundays have become my favourite day of the week. As a little girl, I used to hate it. I always thought it was so boring. Shops used to be closed. There was nothing interesting to watch on TV. Sundays just dragged on and on and on. Sundays now usually means a day out with the hubby and little one. We don't always have anything planned but we almost always go out.

Last Sunday, for instance, saw us at the Columbia Flower Market. Whenever we drove to Central London we would always see people with their arms laden with bunches of flowers. And, every time we would see them, the hubby and I agreed we would make our way down there one day and check it out for ourselves. It always seemed like the market were giving the flowers away for free from the sheer number of people walking down the road with their arms full.

With lightning streaking across the sky and a little thunder rumbling in the air, we made our way to Columbia Road. We were not disappointed. The atmosphere was wonderful...stall sellers shouting out unbelievable bargains; crowds of people just leisurely walking down the road and the flowers - the beautiful, beautiful flowers. Even the little quaint shops with their quirky names lining the street added to the charm of the place.

The little one was in his element, he being a lover of flowers. I got myself a bunch of mixed flowers (I regret not getting some roses) and a little pot of Snowdrops. After umming and ahhing over what flowers to buy, taking dozens of pictures and overcoming our disappointment at missing out on churros and hot chocolate, we made our way across the road to Hackney City Farm.

The Boogster, who was so much more braver over the summer when I took him, no longer felt the need the chase the chickens and even though he was fascinated by the moo-moo didn't get half as close as the other children.

It was a lovely weekend. I wonder what this Sunday brings.

Sisters

2011-02-10T22:21:00.002Z

Growing up, I always wanted a sister. My twin brothers had one another. I had them too but it was different. It wasn't just that they were twins, they were brothers. Some of my closest friends have sisters and seeing them together makes me wish I had someone I could always have a laugh with, confide in, borrow handbags and shoes from. I've been asked on occasion what it's like being an only girl. I don't really know any different. I can only imagine what it would be like to have a sister.

And oh, sometimes even now at 34 years old, I wish I had a sister.

My "need-to-finish-this -soon" list

2011-01-30T23:50:00.003Z

1. My son's second scrapbook

2. My best friend's scarf which has been on my knitting needles for almost 4 years

3. The crochet shopping bag I was making out of green parcel string

4. The children's book I haven't even started yet

5. Re-string the necklace the above mentioned best friend gave me when I last saw her (it snapped whilst I was picking up my bags to leave for work)

Love this idea...

2011-01-30T23:44:00.002Z

Baraka from Rickshaw Diaries is collaborating with a friend to publish a book called Love, Inshallah. Check out the details here.

Weekends

2011-01-30T23:28:00.002Z

Weekends, I find, always see to zoom by in a flash. Blink and you miss it. The same has just happened with this one. All I had planned to do was to meet up with two friends at Pizza Express with my little one on Saturday and then just laze around today. Lunch with the friends was lovely. The Boogster stayed in his high chair the whole time and gave me no trouble at all except when it came to getting back into his car seat. (And trouble before we left has he has developed an intense aversion to changing his clothes).

Then this morning, whilst doing some dusting, my brother announced he was going to Covent Garden. I love Covent Garden. And so hubby, Boogster, brother and myself packed ourselves into the car and headed to central London. I made a bee-line for Bare Escentuals, a cosmetic company which sells mineral make-up, had a little make-over and ended up spending far too much on the Getting Started Kit. Then, to feed my stationery obsession, I browsed in Artbox. On the way back to car we all stopped off at Scoop for some fine Italian ice-cream. That went down well with everyone as the ice-cream was absolutely lovely. Will be visiting it again next time to try out some of the other flavours.

As a child, there were two places my parents used to take us for a treat: one was an little ice-cream parlour in Goodge Street (we'd wait in the car while my dad got us ice-cream and we'd have it while driving round London at night) and the other was a place called Bloom's which sold wonderful kosher beef sandwiches. I've always wanted to do the same with my kids as I have fond memories of those times. I've found the ice-cream place...now all I need is a Bloom's substitute.

The evening was spent watching Tangled at Cineworld. Ammi and I were supposed to watch it on our own but the hubby and Boogster tagged along. I'm impressed that he watched the entire cartoon without a peep. I had to keep checking to see if he was awake. I had envisaged him making a racket and having to be carried out by the hubby.

It was an all in all lovely weekend. Work tomorrow. Bring on next weekend!

Holidays

2011-01-02T17:50:00.002Z

One of the perks of being a teacher is that I get the holidays off which in turn means I get to spend lots of time with the little one. The downside to being a teacher though is that during every holiday, I catch the flu (or a very bad cold). I spent the first week of my holiday in bed with the flu: aches and pains; the chills; a hacking cough and vomiting too. the second week was spent trying to recover. It's almost time to go back to work and I'm still coughing! Getting ill in the holidays is such a pain! I missed seeing one of my oldest friends who was over from Norway (she succumbed to the flu herself); I missed the first couple days of the sales and I didn't get to spend the first week with my son much as we tried to avoid him catching it from me.

All that said though, it's been good to have a break. My son has turned into a right little chatterbox. We still don't understand 80% of what he says but he's so earnest when he talks we pretend to understand him. Sometimes I look at him and I still find it hard to believe I've become a mother. Other times I wonder where time has flown. He's already 2. How did that happen? That's why having the holidays off is great. I work full time and often feel like I'm missing out on so much. This gives me time to spend with him and I enjoy every minute.

Heart Melting Moment 3

2010-12-13T22:14:00.003Z

On early, early morning, I was trying to ignore my little one and get some more shut eye.

"Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Maam," he insisted at the top of his voice.

I looked at the time.

5 a.m.

I had only been asleep 4.5 hours. I needed more sleep.

"Mama," he said, "'top it kheep."

(Mama, stop it sleep).

I had to get up.

Hoxton Street's Monster Supplies

2010-12-05T22:56:00.003Z

End of term is always so busy. There's a lot going on: Xmas assemblies; Xmas lunches for staff and children; the Panto; the staff night out; marking and yet more marking and inputting APP assessments onto the school server. I can't wait for the two weeks off where I can just relax and breathe. Oh, and do some sale shopping!

Came across a lovely little shop on Hoxton Street today while driving into Central London. It's called Hoxton Street's Monster Supplies. They sell a variety of different types of canned fear and jarred edible "human" preserves for the living and dead alike. It was hard to keep a straight face when the sales guy asked some customers who walked in after me if they were monsters or were looking for something for monsters they knew. The shop also runs writing workshops for young people and I was offered to have a look as I showed interest in bringing my class there. I was taken to a door and asked to provide a password. Put on the spot like that I could hardly think of what to say! You can check them out here for more details. It was a quaint little shop and loved the creativity behind it.

Bye-bye Teepee

2010-11-14T11:03:00.001Z

Before going to bed, I get the Boogster to say bye-bye to everyone and give them a kiss goodnight.

"Bye-bye, Lola," he says as he gives a little wave. "Bye-bye Mamoo (Uncle), bye-bye car, bye-bye book, bye-bye teepee (T.V)."

The Boogster's First Post

2010-11-07T15:56:00.000Z

5RTF gc5hkhdefjhiyksdfguoilhgfdrfbthgljkzxaz xx b\';lkjhgfdsa6yh

Tom boy to Girly girl

2010-11-07T15:46:00.004Z

When I was younger I wasn't much of a girly girl. I hated hearts, didn't like pink and even bought some of my clothes from the men's section. I also hated shopping. I would only go when I knew what I wanted. My only weaknesses back then were books, stationery, toiletries, jewellery and lingerie. Not so now. Now you can add bags, shoes, clothes and even hearts. And pink? Love the colour!

I recently discovered a love for all things girly. I'm not quite sure where it came from or why but now I can't get enough of shopping - which doesn't help the bank balance at all. I went shopping with a friend last Friday for clothes for a wedding. I enjoyed it so much I can't wait to go shopping again. I just need to wait for my next pay-cheque and clear out my wardrobe.

Goo-goo

2010-11-02T20:58:00.002Z

"Goo-goo," the Boogster said to me insistently. "Mama, goo-goo."

I got up and told him to come to me with the fridge. Goo-goo can mean either water or juice. I have no idea how he came up with that word but that's what he uses. I was hoping to get him to drink some milk. I opened the fridge door and grabbed the 4 pint bottle.

The Boogster's hand shot in and out so quickly, I hardly had time to react. In his hand, was a bottle of Tropicana Kid's apple juice. On his face was the cheekiest smile ever. He gave a cheeky laugh and off he ran. I was left, fridge door still open, marvelling at the cheeky little monkey my son had become. He knew very well I wanted him to have milk. He knew very well he wasn't supposed to be having any more juice. He also knew he had gotten his own way.

Paperback vs e-books

2010-11-02T20:39:00.002Z

For the record let me state how into technology I am. I want an iPad, I get upset whenever a new iPhone is released because it makes mine that much older and obsolete in technological terms and i'm always a sucker for the latest gadget. I even downloaded a few apps such as Stanza and iBooks on my iPhone so that I could read in bed sometimes.

Having said all that though, there is no way - for me - that e-books could ever replace a good old fashioned paperback. Curling up on the sofa with some hot chocolate and an e-book just doesn't do it for me like a paperback would. Yes, I know e-books are more convenient when travelling as you can have as you can have a whole library to hand etc etc. And yes, I wouldn't say no to one in that case. But nothing can replace the weight and feel of a book. I like turning proper pages. I like not having to worry about charging the batteries in case my iPhone dies on me right in the middle of finding out if Lisbeth has survived a savage attack or not. I even like flicking to the end of book sometimes and sneakily reading the end before going to back to where I originally was and carry on as if I didn't know what was going to happen.

Paperbacks rock. I just hope that they don't eventually disappear altogether. And don't get me started on snail mail vs email either...

Weaning Day 6

2010-10-31T21:58:00.003Z

I was going to wean the Boogster cold turkey. Then I changed my mind. It just seemed too cruel. I can't even bring myself to let him "cry it out" to go to sleep, I cried when he was circumcised and so how did I ever think I could wean him cold turkey?

I decided to do it gradually instead. For the first couple of days I dropped the day feeds. Then I decided to drop the bed-time feed. This one had me in tears. On the first night of no bed-time feed, I had gone to a friend's so my mother made the Boogster sleep. He didn't cause her much trouble as he's used to her making him sleep when I'm not around. Night 2 was worse. He wanted to feed so much and initially took it to be a joke when I told him no and kept handing him a bottle of milk. When he got really tired, he just cried and cried and cried and wanted lots of comforting. I picked him up, gave him lots of hugs and he fell eventually fell asleep with is head in my shoulder. After he had fallen asleep, I cried too.

Night 3 was a doddle. I was expecting much the same as night 2 but he actually fell asleep whilst in bed playing on my iPhone. We did tire him out properly though and only put him in bed when he looked like he was about to drop. We did pretty much the same tonight too only I got the hubby to put him to bed. He turned on Michael Buble's "Feeling Good" and hubby says he was asleep within 10 seconds.

The plan seems to be working. He's stopped asking for feeds during the day and is only fed at night. I will be dropping those feeds one at a time until it's just the morning one left. That one I hear, is the hardest. Only one way of finding out...

More words...

2010-10-31T21:46:00.003Z

...and even a few more sentences.

Chocomeek = Chocolate

Top it Daddique = Stop it, Daddy

Opadoor = Open door

Fy-fy = Butterfly (accompanied with a fluttering of one hand crossed with the other)

Cheebee = T.V.

Pakka Pakka = Makka Pakka

Ome = Home

Oh no!

Dup = Dropped (when really he means he threw it rather than dropped it)

Kaala = Khala (Urdu for maternal aunt, or in my case, what Ismail would call any of my Pakistani female friends)

Yaya = Lola (Filipino for Grandmother)

I ga you = I got you

Heart-melting moment No.2

2010-10-27T22:04:00.002+01:00

Ok, so this isn't really heart-melting moment No.2 - there have been so many more but this is the 2nd one I'm blogging about...I think. The first was when the Boogster said "Ahwoo". This one happened today as he was watching "In The Night Garden" on CBeebies. For those who watch it, they'll know it starts off with a shot of a mum drawing slow circles with her forefinger on her child's palm while said child falls asleep. Every time that part comes on, Boogie stops what he's doing and comes over to do the same to me.

Today I was sitting on the sofa while he played with his toys and watched "In The Night Garden" on the other sofa. Just before that bit came on, he put his toys down, came over to me and said, "Mama." I looked up and he pointed to my hand to tell me he wanted to draw circles on it. He then stood there and drew circles until it stopped on the TV show itself and then went back to playing with his toys. This is about the 3rd or 4th time he's done it and each time it just melts my heart. He gets quite insistent if I don't pay him any attention when it's "In the Night Garden" time and will keep calling me till I realise what he wants.

I love being a mama. Best job in the world.

(I also just have to say "In the Night Garden" is just the strangest children's programme ever. Ninky Nonk's and Iggle Piggles and weird strange things! Whatever happened to programmes like Button Moon?)

Weaning

2010-10-27T21:48:00.002+01:00

As the Boogster's 2nd birthday approaches, it comes time to wean him off my milk. It's not going to be an easy task I know and sometimes I wonder whether I should have done it sooner. I'm not entirely sure if that would have made weaning any easier though. There are some people I know who, when they find out I am still breast-feeding, think I'm weird. I don't really care. Government guidelines and Islam suggests breast feeding till the age of 2 and that's what I chose to do. If people think that's weird they can think that all they want.

Initially breast feeding wasn't the easiest of things to do. I thought it would be easy. I mean what could be more difficult than latching a baby on and letting him drink milk? I was so wrong! It was excruciatingly painful and I almost gave up. Someone described it as piranha latching on and I totally agree. It used to bring tears to my eyes!

Now though, it's not just nourishment and comfort for my son but also comfort and bonding for me. The Boogster, active boy that he is, won't let you cuddle him for longer than 2 seconds so I enjoy feeding time. I get to hug him while he either plays with the rings I wear or he'll touch my face till he falls asleep. It's time I really treasure with him. And it's coming to an end.

Not only am I going to have to come to terms with that fact that my little one is growing up (much faster than I'd like), I'm also going to have to steel my heart to the crying that is going to follow. My poor baby, he doesn't know what lies ahead.

Me Time

2010-10-14T20:31:00.002+01:00

Before I had the Boogster, I knew my life would change but I didn't know how much it would change. Gone were the days I could just pop out and go to the local newsagents to get a magazine. Gone were the days I could soak in the bath tub with a book. Gone were the days I could go out a watch a movie. And in the beginning, I resented not being able to do all those things.

So, no matter how late the little one slept and how little I myself had slept, I started to make sure I had a little me time. As soon as he was asleep, out would come the book, or the laptop or the crocheting. I would be tired and sleepy but I was determined not to lose my sense of me. Becoming a mother didn't mean I stopped being me. It took a while to realise that though.

It also took a while to stop feeling guilty every time I did spend a little time away from the little one. Now, I enjoy every moment. For my birthday back in August, I spent a couple of hours in Spitalfields. I browsed the different market stalls. I ate yummy dim sum. I drank fresh coconut juice. I bought so extremely hot chilli sauce. I did not feel guilty. It felt so good to recharge my batteries and move about in a world not centred around nappy changing, playing hide and seek or reading "The Hungry Caterpillar" for the fifth time.

I may have resented not being free to do my own thing anymore but now I would not have it any other way. I treasure my me time more and it makes me a better mama.

Jelly Belly

2010-09-19T23:37:00.000+01:00

I wasn't exactly a size 10 before i got pregnant. In fact, I've never been a size 10. Ever. Except for maybe before I hit puberty. But I didn't have a jelly belly. I have not been able to shift the one I gained since I've had the Boogster. Not that I've been doing much to try. I love my food too much and hardly have time to exercise. I keep catching glimpses of myself every now and then and keep thinking "Got to lose weight."

And then I came across a friend's comment on Facebook. She had a baby a year ago and is trying out the Special K diet. A friend of hers was being very encouraging and told her she'd be back in her size 8s soon. To which my friend replied,"Don't think I'll ever be a size 8 again but my tummy will always tell others I have a beautiful baby boy."

Loving her stance on her jelly belly.

The Boogster's first sentence

2010-09-15T21:27:00.001+01:00

The Boogster put together his first sentence yesterday.

We were in the car driving to Waitrose and we had stopped alongside a stretch of the Central Line. He said, "Mama, more cheeah comen."

Translated: Mama, more trains coming.

My Wish List

2010-09-09T22:33:00.004+01:00

A friend just recently posted "What a girl wants" on her blog. It made me want to write my wish list which I've been mentally adding to over the past few weeks. This list is by no means exhaustive! Just when I think I don't want anything else and will be content having the items on my list and nothing more, I find more to add to it. I'm going to take a leaf out of her book and try to limit my list to 5 items too.

1. An iPad.

2. A Canon DSLR.

3. My own house!

4. A diamond ring.

5. A pair of Red or Dead Buccaneer boots.

So can't afford any of it but I can always wish!

Ahwoo

2010-09-09T22:25:00.002+01:00

The Boogster's vocabulary is increasing by the day. He may not always pronounce words correctly but he consistently uses the same word for the same thing. These are the words in his repertoire:

Mama

Daddy

Mamoo

Baba

Car

Baka (Helicopter)

Baatch (Bus)

Khay (Yes)

Oh my Goh (Oh my gosh)

Dah (Down)

Deeda (This one)

and most importantly, Ahwoo (I love you).

He usually says ahwoo after I've said it to him but today whilst he was lying on my tummy he looked me straight in the eye and "Ahwoo". It took me a while to realise he was telling me he loved me since he's not really ever used it except in response to my "I love you's".

The moment just totally blew me away.

Creative Juices

2010-08-27T00:00:00.002+01:00

Before the Boogster was born, I made my own baby book for him. I loved designing the layout for each page and it all came together quite nicely. Two friends in particular, really loved it and so I made one for one and gave the other all the necessary materials to make her own. Now that my original scrapbook is finished, I plan on making another one to document the summer holidays. I have all these brilliant ideas in my head - some from a magazine called Scrapbook Inspirations which has some absolutely gorgeous layouts. I've been collecting different materials for mine: tube maps; photos, wrapping paper; Happy Meal boxes etc and once I have the pictures developed, can get started on making it.

I also want to get back to making some jewellery and doing some crochet. I can only do all of this when the Boogster is asleep of course because he's just going to want to join in. I have visions of him poking his eye out with a crochet hook! I blame this sudden burst of creativity on Etsy of course. Every time I log onto the site, there's something I want to buy or make myself. I have already virtually spent millions on that site.

Through Scrapbook Inspirations, I also came across another blog called The Write Start. I've been reading the blog for the last month or so and absolutely LOVE it. She has some amazing ideas and I love how it's all linked with developing writing and fine motor skills whilst making it fun for children and adults alike. Plus, I want her little work area. It's so organised.

Clothes, clothes everywhere and I've still got nothing to wear!

2010-08-26T11:12:00.003+01:00

One of the things on my to do list this summer holiday is to clear out my wardrobe. I seem to have so many clothes but when I go to look for something to wear I can't find anything. It happens every single time and I hate it. So, I've decided to be really ruthless and sort my clothes into two piles: Keep and Give to charity.

I was watching an old episode of Gok's Fashion Fix and have come to this conclusion: a 24 piece capsule wardrobe will do nicely. Imagine that. 24 pieces that you can mix and match. No more feeling guilty about having so many clothes and still not having anything to wear. Problem solved. Or so I would like to think.

New problem - how do I put together a 24 piece capsule wardrobe? I'm rubbish at that sort of thing. I have to do some research into it.

Islamabad Blues

2010-05-07T22:09:00.002+01:00

I miss Islamabad. When I lived there, I didn't much like it. More because I was in a constant state of rebellion against all things Pakistani. Now, I love it. I have to admit though, when we touched ground and had to go through the hassle of the airport, I did wonder why I had agreed on a trip to Pakistan.

Once we were out though, it was a whole different story. It was good to see the Margallah Hills in the distance, the tree lined avenues and experience the Islamabad rain. It did my heart - and soul - some good. I got to chat with old dear and darling friends; eat in old haunts; shop in my favourite shops in Jinnah and Super Market and discover new ones. Despite it's sleepy reputation, Islamabad is not at all a sleepy city to me. Neighbours were constantly dropping by with plates of food. The Boogster enjoyed himself and for the first time I saw my son's feet get really dirty (as in black soles). I took on Pakistani traffic and drove. The hubby and I ate Afghani burgers (Afghani naan stuffed with chips, sausage, chicken, various chutneys and a sprinkling of Islamabad dust). We discovered Saidpur Village. Ate some more. Found out you couldn't play ball games in F-9 park. Something was always happening.

I have the Islamabad blues.

Travelling with a toddler, Volcanic ash clouds and the long journey home

2010-05-07T21:54:00.002+01:00

The hubby and I decided we should visit Pakistan over the Easter holidays as summer gets far too hot and my mother-in-law hadn't met her little grandson yet. I was very apprehensive about travelling with a little toddler - not quite knowing what to expect. I had read night flights were good for little ones as they tended to sleep through it and we were lucky enough that the flight to Islamabad was in the evening. When we boarded the plane the Boogster was asleep much to the envy of the two mothers on either side of me who had to contend with crying children. All I could do was smile in sympathy at them until, that is, he woke up and then would not go back sleep. The smiles of sympathy were then directed my way.

I and the hubby spent the next couple of hours walking up and down the aisle with him. He was so tired but he just would not sleep. Eventually, he was so tired he managed to sleep the rest of way and didn't wake up till we had landed.

We were due back on 16th April but then the volcano in Iceland erupted which went on to show how inept PIA were at prioritising passengers whose flights were cancelled because of it. I refused to bribe, upgrade or do anything that involved an exchange of money and would have still been stuck in Islamabad till at least 10th May if I had not agreed to fly to Manchester instead. And did PIA arrange for transport from Manchester to London? No.

The journey back home involved airport officials openly asking for bribes so our luggage would not be opened; baggage being x-rayed and checked 3 times; my son sleeping lots on the plane trip back (always good); visiting Manchester for the very first time and a very expensive cab journey back to London.

But as they say, all's well that ends well.

7 Teeth, Travelling and other things

2010-03-21T19:18:00.002Z

It's been such a long time since I've time to blog. Since the last post, the Boogster is now the proud owner of 7 teeth; "winks" by closing both eyes; asks for random people's food and drink (when we're in lifts, in particular) and has started to copy words I say ("yuck" when I was changing his nappy and "crap" when I dropped my phone)!

We're off to visit "the other Lola" - his other grandmother - in Pakistan this April. I am not looking forward to the 8 hour flight. The boy can barely sit in the car for 20 minutes without complaining. So glad the hubby is travlleing with me.

School has kept me so busy and between that and trying to find ways to tire out my son so that he'll sleep through the night, I barely have time for myself. Roll on the holidays. Now I need to make a few phone calls and try to catch up with a few friends.

It's raining fluff...

2009-12-17T21:06:00.002Z

...as one of my kids said the other day in the playground. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a snow day, meaning no school. That would mean an extra day off. The kids have been going a little crazy lately - it being the end of term and all. And I really need a break.

Having said that, the other day during golden time, one of the Year 3 children who had come to do some Art really made my day. I was going round looking at some of the cards the children had made when the message in one of them caught my eye. It read:

To my wonderfull self

I have made a card to me because I love my chuby face. I agmire my cheeks. When I look in the mirer xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

From B :)

(The spelling is all his).

I couldn't help but laugh. How cute is that?

Found

2009-12-03T23:21:00.000Z

Places pegs have been found:
1. The bathroom
2. The fireplace
3. Under the sofa
4. Beneath my pillow
5. In the car seat
6. Underneath the tree outside our front door

Toddling, Pegs and Aeroplanes

2009-11-29T22:40:00.001Z

For the last couple of weeks, the Boogster would only walk if he had
one of our hands tightly gripped in his own. Woe to anyone who would
let go! Stop and you're subjected to a mini tantrum. He loves walking
so much that it doesn't matter to him if he's falling over with
tiredness, he'd still be determined to walk.

We tried a couple of times to gently let go and he wouldn't have any
of it. He'd sit on his bottom, lean over so his head would almost
touch the floor and start pretend crying. That is until last Saturday.
I let go and he walked not one, not two, not even three but four
shakey steps to his grandad - big grin on his face. And now he's even
trying on his own. Today he kept pulling himself up using the edge of
the sofa and then toddle his way across the sitting room, arms out to
maintain his balance. He even stopped mid-step to turn and veer in
another direction. You would think with all this extra exercise he'd
start sleeping through the night but no. Still no sleeping through the
night for me.

The Boogster has also got some strange fascination for pegs. Wooden
ones to be exact. On his journey through the kitchen he always makes a
pit stop at the peg basket where he'll pick up a peg. If a plastic peg
makes it into his hand it's promptly dropped into the floor and he'll
go fishing for another till he gets a wooden one. Then, peg firmly
gripped in his hand, he'll start walking. Like you mustn't stop
walking unless he stops, you must NOT take the peg away. The boy can
have a peg gripped in his hand for half an hour without letting go!
It's become something like a security blanket. Pegs are scattered
everywhere.

Pegs aren't the only current favourites of the Boogster though. We've
found that every morning he likes to sit on the back of the sofa that
looks out onto the street. From this perch he'll survey the street and
more importantly the sky. He hears it before he sees it sometimes.
When he does, he points to the aeroplane and says "Ooooh ooooh". The
joy on his face is priceless.

Five Second Chilli Chocolate

2009-11-19T23:02:00.001Z

Five Second Chilli Chocolate

On a not-so-recent trip to Lakeside I was enticed into Hotel Chocolat
by its gorgeous window display. The hubby is a chocoholic and also
wanted to have a "look around." We ended up going for the 3 for £7
deal and I thought I might try the 5 Second Chilli. I have to
admit, the sound of chillies in chocolate didn't sound appetising at
all. I'm not even sure what made me buy a pack. I love chillies (I
have 7 different types of chilli sauces) but chillies in chocolate? It
surely had to be horrible.

I have never been so wrong! Chillies and chocolate - pure genius.
There's just enough in it to leave a little heat in your mouth.

Kabayan Buntis or Pregnant Horse

2009-10-29T22:35:00.002Z

Languages.

I was surrounded by four different languages while I was growing up - English, Tagalog, Punjabi and Urdu. When I went to secondary school French was added to that as we had to learn it whilst at school. and then in second year (now called Year 8) we were allowed to choose a second foreign language. I remember the choices being German, Spanish, Italian or Urdu. We were meant to put our first two choices down in order of preference. My first choice, according to my parents, had to be Urdu and that's what got put on the form. I didn't want to learn Urdu. I wanted to learn Spanish. And so, with help enlisted from a friend, she changed the choices so that the first choice was Spanish and the second Urdu. I just told my parents all the places for Urdu had been taken up. I did this for two reasons. The first was because I really did want to learn Spanish and the second was because, at the time, I thought learning Urdu was uncool. How I loved those Spanish classes. In fact, for me, second year at school was much better than the first. I had three lessons I was passionate about: Spanish, Textiles and Steel Band.

Half way through second year, we left for Pakistan. It was such a culture shock for me that as part of my "rebellion" against my parents, I refused to learn Urdu properly (which to this day I cannot speak properly). Anyhow, I digress.

The reason I love languages so much is that each one has it's own beauty, rhythm and idiosyncratic phrases or words. Take the title of my post for example. Literally translated from Tagalog, kabayan buntis means pregnant horse. Ammi says it whenever she drops something or does something she wasn't meant to. It's her way of saying "Oops". I always find it hilarious when I hear her say it because it just doesn't make any sense.

A Spanish friend of mine once saw a very cute guy and said "Es como un queso." Again, literally translated that means he's like cheese. For me, that made complete sense. If you love cheese as much as Spaniards (and myself) do then you'll understand. Another phrase I absolutely adore is "meeti churri" which is Punjabi for sweet knife. It's a way of describing someone who is nice to you and then stabs you in the back. "Awaragardi" I recently learnt is the Urdu word for going about town and enjoying yourself. The list goes on.

The only trouble is with languages is this: so much gets lost in translation.

Almost one

2009-10-23T15:33:00.003+01:00

The Boogster will be 1 year old on 5th November. One year old! How time has flown! A while ago I bought a diary so I could note down all the new things he does in it and then give it to him when he turned 21. It still lies with the price tag on it on my bookshelf. I will get around to it one of these days.

One of his teeth has finally made an appearance after months of teething pains, drooling and waking up at night crying (and I forgot to mention the chewing on my face). Its the top one but I think one of the bottom ones is soon to join it. He's taking it quite good naturedly. The Teetha powders help too. A friend suggested Ashton and Parson's powders which I think do the same thing.

He also has a new favourite song. It used to be Kanye West's Amazing which his dad used to play him all the time and he would jig up and down to. Now my mum has him hooked on Nusrat Fateh Ali's Mustt Mustt. I think it's the tablas that get him moving!

Other new things he's started doing: pointing to things he wants and say "Oh, oh", making a beeline for the laptop whenever he sees me or his dad turning it on and then proceeding to find all sorts of shortcuts we didn't know existed and waving bye-bye.

Watching him grow up and learn new things everyday never ceases to amaze me. It's such a pleasure seeing his not-so-toothless grin when he's worked out how to take the lid off the Vaseline tub and other such discoveries. At the moment he's fast asleep snoring. Little baby snores because he has a blocked nose from a cold that he's had. Since this is his first cold, I went out and bought everything I could to make it easier for him - Nasosal saline drops, Olbas Oil, Karvol Vapour rub, a nasal aspirator (which he won't let anywhere near his nose), the works. The only things I found of use were Vaseline (to ease the sore nose) and the Olbas oil. I did this in the beginning too...buying things I thought I would need and then discovered I had no use for. I'll leave that for another post though.

Ironing

2009-09-26T23:26:00.002+01:00

I love ironing. There's something so therapeutic about it. I just love how creases just smooth away under an iron. Strange thing to love, I know. I think I might ask the hubby to buy me a steam iron.

Nag Nag Nag...

2009-09-26T23:15:00.002+01:00

...that is all I seem to do at my class. I've been given a particularly difficult class this year and have been told that they're the kind of class you just cannot relax with. *sigh* They're not a bad bunch though I have had them in a couple of times during break and lunch to "practise" lining up and entering the classroom quietly.

Plus, I don't know what it is. Maybe it's being in a different year group and having been away for so long but I feel so disorganised. I'm slowly getting back on track. Lots of new things to get to grips with.

Eid

2009-09-26T23:11:00.001+01:00

It was Eid last Sunday and, in our household, Eid is usually uneventful. This Eid, however, Ammi decided she wanted to go for Eid prayers so I took her, the hubby and the Boogster to Palmers Green Mosque. I have not been for Eid prayers before so it was quite an experience. We followed prayers with a walk to the high road to check out the market stalls set up in honour of Car Free Day and then spent the evening at my aunt's where Boogie got to see his cousins. It was an all in all enjoyable experience though I have decided to go the whole nine yards next time i.e. buying a new outfit, bangles and henna. The whole shebang!

The Guilt Trip

2009-09-14T21:58:00.003+01:00

I started back at work full time last week. The Boogster, though he stays at home with his Lola and daddy, hasn't taken too kindly to my leaving him. He'll give me the hugest toothless grin he can muster when I get back home and then he transforms from a happy baby to a whiney, whingey one in a bid to give me a guilt trip for abandoning him.

And it works. The little so and so. He has done this without fail for an entire week!

So true

2009-09-12T23:03:00.002+01:00

Here's a quote that will be going in my common-place book:

"Don't make somebody your priority when they only make you an option."

I found it on a friend's Facebook profile page.

Lists

2009-09-12T22:58:00.003+01:00

I love writing lists. Shopping lists, to do lists, wish lists - any kind of list really. Crossing off items on the list is half the fun. Yes, I'm sad. I know.

Out and about with the Little One

2009-09-12T22:33:00.002+01:00

In my pre-mummy days, I used to love wandering up and down Oxford and Regent Street, browsing in shops, darting in between stragglers like all seasoned Londoners do and I always wondered why parents would want to cart around their little ones in often cumbersome looking pushchairs with all the other accompanying paraphernalia that usually accompanied travelling with a baby.

I get it now. I so get it.

You go crazy stuck at home otherwise!

It just never occurred to me before mummyhood. It seemed like a hassle and in the beginning - for me - it was. My hubby is a gem though. He is the one who coaxed me out and I'm so glad he did. He's also the one who looks after the Boogster when we're out and about. My dodging round people days have come to end and now people have to dodge round me. My browsing days are also over but just getting out is enough. We all enjoy it - the Boogster especially.

The getting ready part was also such a pain in the beginning. I was always forgetting something - a bib, baby wipes, sun hat....I've got it all down like a pro now and I can be out of the house in under 10 minutes flat with everything I need (nappies, wipes, food, water, a toy and a muslin cloth). I used to take everything. And I mean everything. Spare change of clothes, extra blanket for just in case, 2 bibs, lotion, camera to take that all important picture. The key is to travel light, especially important if you plan on travelling by tube and need to carry an almost 10kg baby in his pushchair up and down those stairs.

Not too long ago, the three of us went to Portobello Road. For a while I thought we were the only crazy ones to take a baby and pushchair to such a crowded place. That is until I saw a pregnant woman with her hubby and their twins! Now that is brave!

CIO Vs. No Cry

2009-08-31T09:03:00.005+01:00

Sleep.

Before I became a mother, I used to hate napping during the day. I always felt like life was passing me by when I napped. So I did it rarely - usually if I had the flu or something. As the Boogster still wakes up at least twice every night, I nap when and where I can.

The Boogster, like I mentioned before, needs to be rocked or breastfed in order to fall asleep. I read that this is what is called a "sleeping-crutch" and that he needs to find a way to fall asleep on his own. I had only been told of the "Crying It Out" (CIO) method where you just let your baby cry himself to sleep. I tried it once, and NEVER again. I always thought it was either that or just suffer the backaches and sleep deprivation rocking Boogster back to sleep until he learnt to sleep on his own.

There seems to be light at the end of the tunnel though. I've come across "The No Cry Sleep Solution", a book by Elizabeth Pantley which I have just ordered from Amazon. I'm hoping it will help! I also came across Baby Center which has an article on the No Tears Method which has given me hope.

Must dash. Boogster is awake and dancing at me from the confines of his cot, with a big smile on his face. Now tell me, how can I let him cry himself to sleep?

Acquired Tastes

2009-08-29T09:58:00.003+01:00

On my 18 and half birthday, a very close friend of mine gave me a copy of U2's Achtung Baby. I remember this very clearly because he also gave another close friend a copy of the soundtrack to The Piano. I remember this for two reasons:

1. I wanted the soundtrack to The Piano.
2. I wanted the soundtrack to The Piano.

He scrawled a note across the sleeve that said: "For your 18 and half birthday, something to remember me by when you are making a pot roast and I have a pot belly." At the time - and I didn't tell him this - I just thought U2 were noise and that Bono couldn't sing. And then one day, after listening to the album for the upteenth time, it dawned on me. U2 were the greatest band on earth!

I had acquired a taste for U2.

Other tastes I have acquired over the years: olives and marmite (separately of course, not together).

And to think, this post came into being because of the crate of Dr. Pepper sitting in the dining room. Why? Well, I always thought it tasted too medicinal. Now, it's actually quite nice when it's chilled and has a couple of ice cubes in it!

Parallel Universes

2009-08-07T22:46:00.002+01:00

I've always been fascinated by the idea of parallel universes - the "Sliding Doors" kind where in infinite different worlds, your life follows different routes based on the decisions you did or did not make. What path would my life have taken if I had stayed in Pakistan instead of coming back to go to university? Am I the author I want to be in another universe? The creative artist in yet a different world?

Don't get me wrong. I'm perfectly happy with my life as it is. I just like to escape every now and then into the what-ifs.

Life in the United Kingdom

2009-08-07T22:34:00.002+01:00

The hubby is going to have to take the "Life in the UK" test soon in order to apply for his "Indefinite Leave to Remain". This entails reading a book and then taking a 24 MCQ test. Now, my hubby hates to read. The only book he'll pick up is the Argos catalog. That and any other catalogs with lots of pictures of phones, laptops, bicycles etc. So I thought I'd help him out by reading it with him and making notes. We're only on the first chapter and already I've learnt so much about the UK I didn't know (I went to school in Pakistan and so know next to nothing about British history). It's rather interesting seeing as I hated history when I was younger. It's the condensed condensed version of UK history but that's how I like my history. Unless I want to know more, that is.

All I need to do now is get the hubgby to sit with me tomorrow so we can get past the section on the Norman conquest and delve straight into the Middle Ages.

The Law of Straightness

2009-08-05T00:01:00.000+01:00

I was given this card when I was a teaching assistant for a wonderful NQT. She thought my obsession with making sure everything was straight was quite funny.

(Image from www.edwardmonkton.com)

Rock-a-bye Baby

2009-08-04T22:42:00.000+01:00

The Boogster is asleep in my lap after giving me such a hard time trying to get him to sleep. It's not easy rocking a 9 and a half kilo baby to sleep! Now he's asleep in my arms: mouth slightly open; eyes not quite closed and breathing out sweet baby breath.

Motherhood.

I love it.

Pakoy

2009-07-17T23:02:00.000+01:00

The word "Pakoi" was invented with the help of 6 other Pakoys one summer in Abbottabad. At one time, I thought I was the only Pakoy and knew that couldn't be true. Was I glad to come across someone just like me. And once I found one, I found a whole lot more!

A Pakoi is a half Pakistani-half Filipino (or Pinoy as the Filipinos call themselves). I'm even married to one. Growing up with two different cultures has been such a blessing. Both are so different and yet have some similarities. For the longest time, when I was much younger, my father always told me I was Pakistani. He didn't like it when I showed any interest in anything Filipino. I think for him, being Pakistani was synonymous with being a Muslim and being Filipino was not.

Because it was forced on me, I resisted for a while. I didn't want to be Pakistani. Why couldn't I be Filipino? If being Filipino was so bad, why did my dad marry one? It wasn't till I had lived in Pakistan for 6 years and was moving back to England that I came to terms with my Pakistani side. In effect, my son is a Pakoy too since both of us are. I want him to grow up learning about both cultures. The hubby is lucky in that he can speak both languages. I understand Urdu more that I do Tagalog and always wish Ammi had taught us her language too.

I was once asked by one of the 6 above mentioned Pakoys whether I felt more Pakistani or more Filipino. I think I told her I didn't feel like either. I was wrong. At one point I felt more Pakistani. I look Pakistani, I spent 6 years there and I was told I was. Now though, I feel like both.

Common-place Books

2009-07-08T23:14:00.001+01:00

Back at secondary school in Pakistan, we were told by our English teacher that we had to keep a common-place book for our summer holidays homework. We were to read books over the summer and any quotes/descriptions etc that we liked had to be written in our common-place book. This was back in 1993. I still keep a common-place book now. I don't write so much in it now but when I go back to read what I have written in it, I find it reflects the mood I was in at the time and emotions and feelings I was going through.

The Roger Miller quote has gone into my book. It always reminds me the monsoon rains in Pakistan. Another of my favourite quotes is this: Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly (Unknown).

My teacher told me that my common place book would be a "treasure trove in later life". I would most certainly have to agree.

To work or not to work?

2009-07-08T22:53:00.000+01:00

My maternity leave is coming to end. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. On one hand I look forward to getting back to work - I felt so cut off from the rest of the world when maternity leave first started and going back on inset day last Friday completely threw me. On the other hand, I don't want to leave my baby! I wish I could take him to work with me.

Work.
Baby.
Work.
Baby.
Baby.
Baby.

I do love my job. I fell into teaching completely by accident. It all started in a little city called Abbottabad. More on that another time though. I'll be having my own class again in September. For now, I'll be helping with the Activity Week for the kids who aren't going to the Isle of Wight.

If I didn't have to work to earn a living though, I might have only gone back to work part time. Having finally comes to grips with the fact I'm a mother, I am enjoying my son more and more. I don't want to miss his first tooth, his first step, his first word. In my perfect world, I would be a stay at home mum who worked perhaps one or two days a week, had time to take silver jewellery making classes (I've always wanted to design/make silver jewellery), make soaps, crochet and knit, write a book AND look after my baby. Not asking for much am I?

*sigh*

Having said all of that, I have timed going back to work so that I only have a week and half before the summer holidays start. The only down side of that is that I'll be going through the whole I-want-to-go-back-to-work-I-don't-want-to-leave-my-baby thing all over again come September.

Teething Problems

2009-06-28T15:43:00.000+01:00

The Boogster is teething. And this means he's cranky, clingy and restless. Plus, he chews on his fist, my cheek and even his high chair table - just not on his teether. Bless him. He's having hard time of it at the moment. It can be frustrating for the both us but there are moments of pure joy. Like today for instance. He has this new thing where he scrunches up his face and whinges. His eyes crinkle at the corners, his dimple shows and he lets out a little moan. He was doing this to me while I was feeding him lunch. Enter my brother who then starts making faces back at him. What does the Boogster do? He flashes his a very gummy smile. The kind that goes from ear to ear. Crafty little bum! It's moments like those though that I really enjoy.

Rain, Rain Go Away

2009-06-25T15:29:00.000+01:00

Growing up in England with grey skies and lots of rain, rain and more rain made me associate it with boredom. It wasn't till we moved to Pakistan and I went to school in Islamabad that I began to love the rain. Summers would be extremely hot. Coupled with bouts of electricity cuts, summers would be unbearable. That's when you would wait eagerly for the monsoon rains. Big, fat, juicy drops of rain that fell so hard, so fast. Beautiful. One of my best friends - Kinoo - and I would walk around the school building, watching the grey skies and the clouds, wishing it to rain. And when it did, we'd still be out there walking round the school while everyone else would be inside shaking their heads at us crazy girls. It was Kinoo who planted the love for rain in me. I've loved it ever since. Even the rain back here in London.

I was given a magnet which has the following quote by Roger Miller on it: Some people walk in the rain; others just get wet. Kinoo, this post is for you. I think of you every time the rain falls. I miss our walks in the rain. Maybe next time I'm in Islambad we can go crazy again!

Filipino Street Food

2009-06-19T11:24:00.002+01:00

I miss Filipino street food. We visited the Philippines last year over the summer before Lil Dude was born. Despite warnings that the food might give me "Dehli" belly, I had to sample the various treats on offer. We didn't even have to move from our seats on the front porch. We would be ready with our bowls, money in hand, waiting on the Taho man to come walking by yelling "Taaaaho! Taaaaho!" Ammi, my mum, would call his attention in tagalog and we'd find ourselves with bowls of steaming hot taho (it's like sweet tofu served with syrup and tapioca). Other times we'd have sweet corn served with dessicated coconut (I forget what it's called) and my favourite would be the quail eggs fried in batter that you dipped in different types of vinegar. That last one would always go down realy nicely with a cool glass of gulaman. Yum. I can't wait to take the Boogster to the Philippines and have him try out Filipino street food.