Weaning Day 6

I was going to wean the Boogster cold turkey. Then I changed my mind. It just seemed too cruel. I can't even bring myself to let him "cry it out" to go to sleep, I cried when he was circumcised and so how did I ever think I could wean him cold turkey?

I decided to do it gradually instead. For the first couple of days I dropped the day feeds. Then I decided to drop the bed-time feed. This one had me in tears. On the first night of no bed-time feed, I had gone to a friend's so my mother made the Boogster sleep. He didn't cause her much trouble as he's used to her making him sleep when I'm not around. Night 2 was worse. He wanted to feed so much and initially took it to be a joke when I told him no and kept handing him a bottle of milk. When he got really tired, he just cried and cried and cried and wanted lots of comforting. I picked him up, gave him lots of hugs and he fell eventually fell asleep with is head in my shoulder. After he had fallen asleep, I cried too.

Night 3 was a doddle. I was expecting much the same as night 2 but he actually fell asleep whilst in bed playing on my iPhone. We did tire him out properly though and only put him in bed when he looked like he was about to drop. We did pretty much the same tonight too only I got the hubby to put him to bed. He turned on Michael Buble's "Feeling Good" and hubby says he was asleep within 10 seconds.

The plan seems to be working. He's stopped asking for feeds during the day and is only fed at night. I will be dropping those feeds one at a time until it's just the morning one left. That one I hear, is the hardest. Only one way of finding out...

More words...

...and even a few more sentences.

Chocomeek = Chocolate

Top it Daddique = Stop it, Daddy

Opadoor = Open door

Fy-fy = Butterfly (accompanied with a fluttering of one hand crossed with the other)

Cheebee = T.V.

Pakka Pakka = Makka Pakka

Ome = Home

Oh no!

Dup = Dropped (when really he means he threw it rather than dropped it)

Kaala = Khala (Urdu for maternal aunt, or in my case, what Ismail would call any of my Pakistani female friends)

Yaya = Lola (Filipino for Grandmother)

I ga you = I got you

Heart-melting moment No.2

Ok, so this isn't really heart-melting moment No.2 - there have been so many more but this is the 2nd one I'm blogging about...I think. The first was when the Boogster said "Ahwoo". This one happened today as he was watching "In The Night Garden" on CBeebies. For those who watch it, they'll know it starts off with a shot of a mum drawing slow circles with her forefinger on her child's palm while said child falls asleep. Every time that part comes on, Boogie stops what he's doing and comes over to do the same to me.

Today I was sitting on the sofa while he played with his toys and watched "In The Night Garden" on the other sofa. Just before that bit came on, he put his toys down, came over to me and said, "Mama." I looked up and he pointed to my hand to tell me he wanted to draw circles on it. He then stood there and drew circles until it stopped on the TV show itself and then went back to playing with his toys. This is about the 3rd or 4th time he's done it and each time it just melts my heart. He gets quite insistent if I don't pay him any attention when it's "In the Night Garden" time and will keep calling me till I realise what he wants.

I love being a mama. Best job in the world.

(I also just have to say "In the Night Garden" is just the strangest children's programme ever. Ninky Nonk's and Iggle Piggles and weird strange things! Whatever happened to programmes like Button Moon?)

Weaning

As the Boogster's 2nd birthday approaches, it comes time to wean him off my milk. It's not going to be an easy task I know and sometimes I wonder whether I should have done it sooner. I'm not entirely sure if that would have made weaning any easier though. There are some people I know who, when they find out I am still breast-feeding, think I'm weird. I don't really care. Government guidelines and Islam suggests breast feeding till the age of 2 and that's what I chose to do. If people think that's weird they can think that all they want.

Initially breast feeding wasn't the easiest of things to do. I thought it would be easy. I mean what could be more difficult than latching a baby on and letting him drink milk? I was so wrong! It was excruciatingly painful and I almost gave up. Someone described it as piranha latching on and I totally agree. It used to bring tears to my eyes!

Now though, it's not just nourishment and comfort for my son but also comfort and bonding for me. The Boogster, active boy that he is, won't let you cuddle him for longer than 2 seconds so I enjoy feeding time. I get to hug him while he either plays with the rings I wear or he'll touch my face till he falls asleep. It's time I really treasure with him. And it's coming to an end.

Not only am I going to have to come to terms with that fact that my little one is growing up (much faster than I'd like), I'm also going to have to steel my heart to the crying that is going to follow. My poor baby, he doesn't know what lies ahead.

Me Time

Before I had the Boogster, I knew my life would change but I didn't know how much it would change. Gone were the days I could just pop out and go to the local newsagents to get a magazine. Gone were the days I could soak in the bath tub with a book. Gone were the days I could go out a watch a movie. And in the beginning, I resented not being able to do all those things.

So, no matter how late the little one slept and how little I myself had slept, I started to make sure I had a little me time. As soon as he was asleep, out would come the book, or the laptop or the crocheting. I would be tired and sleepy but I was determined not to lose my sense of me. Becoming a mother didn't mean I stopped being me. It took a while to realise that though.

It also took a while to stop feeling guilty every time I did spend a little time away from the little one. Now, I enjoy every moment. For my birthday back in August, I spent a couple of hours in Spitalfields. I browsed the different market stalls. I ate yummy dim sum. I drank fresh coconut juice. I bought so extremely hot chilli sauce. I did not feel guilty. It felt so good to recharge my batteries and move about in a world not centred around nappy changing, playing hide and seek or reading "The Hungry Caterpillar" for the fifth time.

I may have resented not being free to do my own thing anymore but now I would not have it any other way. I treasure my me time more and it makes me a better mama.